The Spreadsheet
| Rank | Restaurant | Cream | Crab | Price | Score |
|---|
The Map
The Crab Files
The soup remains the primary subject. But some findings exceed the spreadsheet's jurisdiction and are filed here. These are field documents, not formal evaluations. The spreadsheet remains reserved for soup.
| File | Subject | Verdict |
|---|
The Registry Will Judge the Crab Soup Cook-Off
After 831 bowls of independent fieldwork, the spreadsheet has been invited indoors. On September 12th, I will serve as a judge of the Crab Soup Cook-Off at the Maryland Seafood Festival. The criteria remain creaminess, crabbiness, and price. For one day, they will be applied in an official capacity, at a folding table, in front of witnesses.
Come watch a professional eat soup professionally. The festival runs September 11–13 on the beach at Sandy Point: crab soup, steamed crabs, live music, and the Chesapeake Bay standing by for reference.
CREAMOFCRAB
Get tickets · 15% off mdseafoodfestival.com
This is a promotion, and the registry is disclosing it: the code benefits you, the festival, and me. Scores remain not for sale. Cook-off entries will be judged as tasted.
Join the Registry
Since October 2018, I have eaten and scored more than 830 bowls of cream of crab soup. I currently eat three bowls a day.
Three bowls a day is not free. A bowl of cream of crab soup in Maryland costs between eight and fourteen dollars. I have done the math. I do not recommend doing the math.
Registry members receive full access to the spreadsheet, and the knowledge that they are funding the continued eating. The eating will continue either way. But it will continue more comfortably.
- ✓ The full spreadsheet — all 831 entries
- ✓ Search, sort, every score ever recorded
- ✓ New bowls visible before the video posts
- ✓ Vote on where The List sends me next
- ✓ Everything in Member
- ✓ Two months free
- ✓ Certificate of membership (digital, official)
- ✓ Name recorded in the spreadsheet, permanently
Membership supports the tasting operation. Scores are not for sale, including to members. Cancel anytime. The spreadsheet will notice, but it will understand.
Events
Field Study: The Crab Itself
The registry is conducting a field evaluation of the primary ingredient. Three seats are available to the public. You will be on a boat with me and a licensed second-generation waterman. I cannot promise conversation.
$100 per passenger, booked directly with the captain. Full transparency: I receive $30 per passenger. This has been noted in the spreadsheet.
Call to book · (443) 691-9334 Fin N Feather ChesapeakeListed Events
Hosting a food event in Maryland?
Crab feasts, festivals, restaurant events, and charters may apply for a paid listing on this page. Listings are labeled as listings. Inclusion is not an endorsement. Endorsements are earned separately and involve soup.
About
My name is Justin. I am a professional soup eater based in Baltimore, Maryland.
Since October 2018, I have eaten and scored more than 800 bowls of cream of crab soup at restaurants across the state of Maryland. Each bowl is evaluated on three criteria: creaminess, crabbiness, and price. Each criterion is scored out of ten. The three scores are recorded in the spreadsheet.
I do not review other soups. I am aware that other soups exist.
The purpose of this work is to identify the best bowl of cream of crab soup in Maryland. The work is ongoing.
— Justin
Professional Soup Eater
Merch
For Restaurants
I evaluate cream of crab soup. If you serve cream of crab soup in Maryland, we should talk.
What is available: a scheduled evaluation visit, filmed and posted to TikTok and Instagram. A content package, where your establishment also receives the footage for its own use. Certification, for establishments whose soup has already earned it.
What is not available: the score. Creaminess, crabbiness, and price are recorded as observed. Paid visits are disclosed. The spreadsheet does not accept payment. This policy is not negotiable, and it is the reason an evaluation is worth anything.
Half of my viewership watches from the neighborhoods where these restaurants operate. The other half moved away and is homesick. Both halves are hungry.